Vengefully ever after?
Eli J. Finkel Charaktery 3/2008
Unfortunately, those very relationships that can make life so wonderful can also cause devastation, despair and outrage. My Northwestern University undergraduates reported recently on upsetting behaviours their partner had enacted over the preceding two weeks. One male student, for example, recounted an incident in which his girlfriend ‘told me my faults in a really mean way and [made me] feel [horrible] about them’.
A female student reported on a distressing phone conversation she had with her long-distance boyfriend: ‘I told him that I missed him, and when I asked whether he missed me too, he said “I don’t know – not really, I guess’’.’ Another female student related the following incident: ‘He said I was getting mad at him when I was trying to calmly explain how I felt about something. Then as I kept explaining, he said I was acting like a bitch.’
Given how distressing it is to be